Friday, August 14, 2009

For my sake

Yesterday was Hayden's first day of kindergarden, a day I have been dreading since about the middle of the school year last year when we had to start making  preparations.  While I still cant believe this time has come, I can honestly say I am glad it has.  I am excited for the next chapter in our lives and while saying goodbye to the last one is always hard,  I chose to just embrace the change, knowing it was inevitable, and tried my best to make the most of it.  After months of a grieving heart, I decided it was time for a more celebratory approach.  So we shopped excitedly (well, most of the time) for new clothes and gear, made a paper chain to count down the days, baked a cake in the shape of a pencil and ate our fill and yesterday morning he received a huge bag full of all kinds of fun toys and school things (just for home - they are not allowed to bring anything to school but a backpack!).  I think Hayden was more excited about Kindergarden than anything else in his whole life.  It made my heart so glad to see him so excited I could ward off the sadness and tears pretty well. As we walked through the school grounds and in the classroom door I sensed a little anxiety and uncertainty in him.  There was a lot of commotion in such a big new place.  But I was so proud to see him decide to just face his fear and bravely walk on, away from me and into a huge sea of newness, knowing there was a lot in store for him.  This was one of the most precious moments in my life as mom so far.  I will never forget it.  In effort to further commemorate the moment, MY moment, I made this video.  (Yes, I was the abnoxious mom with several different photo and video devices hanging on all sides of me - and proud of it!)  
The words scrolling at the end don't show well. Here's what's written:
I will always remember these moments as I walked away from Hayden at his very first day of school.  This day marked the bittersweet end of a precious season in our lives and the beginning of an exciting new chapter sure to be filled with lots of fun and adventure with my BEAUTIFUL BOY.